In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
