remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
