Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
