great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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