my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
