i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
