Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
