Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
