people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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