The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
