We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
