no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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