Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
