We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
