I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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