Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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