Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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