Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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