I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
