She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
