she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
