I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
