Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
