don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
