"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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