He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
