Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
