Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
