My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
