It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
