I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he puts the penis in happiness.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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