Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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