Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
