Say something about gay babies.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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