thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
