you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
