Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
