Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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