I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You can't special order awesome
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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