just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
