Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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