"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
