Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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