lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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