If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
