Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
