i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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