Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
