Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
A bitchslap is in order.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
