Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
