I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
