if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
