she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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