sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
