He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
