Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
