You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
