Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
