He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
