is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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