please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
