I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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