No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
