every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
