no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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